Actor divulged constant search for answers that marked her journey to spirituality
Pakistani actor Yashma Gill sat down with host, comedian, and actor Ahmad Ali Butt to share the personal journey that led her from atheism to a rediscovery of her faith in Islam. In a recent interview, the actor delved into the challenges she faced, the questions that troubled her and the profound realisations that ultimately brought her back to the path of spirituality.
Yashma began by reflecting on her life experiences and her proclivity to piece the dots together toward a big picture. “There’s been a lot happening in my life since I was a child and I have this personality where I connect dots a lot. That if I do something, it should have a specific outcome. If I do good, the result will be good. If I do bad, you know, I believed a lot in karma,” she shared.
Stressing on her impatient assertion that her actions should yield corresponding outcomes, Yashma divulged how a series of events turned everything upside down. Despite her best intentions, she found herself grappling with adverse consequences even when she believed she was doing good.
Search for answers
“There were some things happening in my life where even the good was yielding bad and worse outcomes…I used to talk to God and I would say, if there is an energy above, a power, then it doesn’t make sense why this is happening to me,” Yashma made the candid confession.
For the celebrity, the most baffling aspect of the ordeal was her best efforts to ensure she was doing good. She said, “I was even careful about my thought process. I had heard that adage that bad thoughts are only a sin when you act on them but I was even cautious about what I was thinking.”
In that moment, Yashma was immersed in confusion and hopelessness with the turn everything in her life was taking for the worse. However, revisiting her painful experiences with the wisdom she has acquired since then, she contended that there was, in fact, a reason why everything was going awry. “ A big reason behind that was the company I chose for myself,” she admitted.
Elaborating more on her tumultuous relationship with faith, Yashma emphasised her confusion about the coexistence of predestination and free will, expressing the dilemma that haunted her during the period of her spiritual exploration.
The question of free will
“I don’t know if my concept of free will is correct or not, but later when I was rediscovering my religion, I would get stuck on one question, which no one has given me a complete answer to yet, but when you recharge your faith, there are certain things that clarify themselves for you over time,” she explained.
The pivotal question Yashma grappled with concerned the compatibility of free will with predestination. “My question was that if predestination is real, that everything to happen has already been written, the concept of free appears in conflict with it,” she wondered how predetermined paths could coexist with personal responsibility and choice. “If it was written that I would sit here with you, then there’s no free will in this, so if there’s anything wrong happening here I didn’t choose it.”
She furthered on, “If this was already written down for me by God, then how can He hold it against me on the day of judgement?” Eventually, Yashma reached an understanding that eased her internal conflict.
“I concluded that there are ten different ways that God has written for you. Whatever way I choose, my destiny from that point onwards is predetermined. Now on what basis is a certain path chosen? If I have done good deeds and I have good intentions, then I will be guided by my soul and by God to pick the right path,” she offered.
Finding clarity
As per the 31-year-old, the reverse is also true. She remarked, “If I am a bad person and I have bad deeds and I am surrounded by bad people, then God’s message will reach me slower than Satan’s. So it’s in your hands, you’re the one choosing the right and wrong.”
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